This is a letter that Mikey and Izzy wrote to their Grameow (my mom):
You know that book that Meowma has called something like the "Devus Book 4 cats"? Sorry if we got the name wrong, we cats aren't that great at spelling English. Anyway, pretty please with frozen yogurt and peanuts on top, tell Meowma that everything in that book IS true, and that it WAS written by Fluffy and Bonkers, and that there was NO hooman help at all whatsoever. Also, remind yourself that it is not necessary to scream like a qwerty uiop asd fghjkl zxcvb nm when you open up Meowma's Kitteh Newz blog and find 2 cats commenting on her "book recommendation" post. Here are a few kitty laws that you hoomans may not understand or follow or maybe not even know about, anyway here they r:
1. On a computer game called Club Penguin, you WILL get paid for being a Tour Guide or Secret Agent, starting in May.
2. Also on Club Penguin, you put stuff in/on things by using the up/down arrow keys.
3. If a snail climbs up a 30 inch wall and climbs 5 in. per day but slips 4 in. per night, it will reach the top on day 26.
4. If your approx. 5-6 week old kitten seems to be eating a lot, it is probably just growing.
5. If you cannot tell how old your kitten is, you should ask a vet, or just guess if you really have to.
6. If you cannot log into Webkinz, try waiting a few minutes, and see if that works.
7. If you are trying to decide between an iPod or an iPod Touch, you should get an iPod if you like to listen to music a lot, but an iPod Touch if you like on-the-go web surfing and stuff.
Sources of these laws: Watching Meowma look back on her answers to questions on Yahoo! Answers.
Please Grameow, we beg you, please remember that it is NOT necessary to go screaming like a qwerty uiop asd fghjkl zxcvb nm. Us kitties, our ears are MUCH more sensitive than your lazy hooman ears.
With big treat-rewarding "Overs" and "Skinny Tunnels",
Mikey and Izzy