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07 May, 2009

Human Cat Talkers

I just thought I would talk to you about something funny I keep realizing but never posted about it.  If you have pets, have you ever realized how you're often saying stuff like, "Oh, look at Max. He's like 'what the heck, I don' care 'bout you, freakeh peeps'" and all that stuff.  What I mean is, you're sorta trying to make it look like you know what they're trying to tell you.  For example, this is a little thingy my mom and I were doing yesterday (I was Mikey and Izzy and she was herself [Grameow]) :


Mikey:  Hey Grameow, whatcha doin?


Grameow:  Uh, just washing the dishes, nothing much.


Mikey:  Cool.  Hey, have you seen dat wittlle brown tigur ting?


Grameow:  You're talking about your sister.  No, I havent s-


Mikey:  OHMAHGAWSH DER SHE IS!!!!  TEH BROWN TIGUR TINGY!!!!


Grameow:  Calm down Mikey, it's just your sister.


Mikey:  OHMAHGAWSHO IT IZ???????!!!! AI DON' BEELEEVE IT!  IT IZ!!!!!!!!


Izzy:  Oh, Mikey!  That hurts my ears badly!  I think my eardrums are gonna fall out!


Mikey:  I'll get you for calling me a fatso yesterday!


Grameow:  Hey, Izzy, Mikey?  Calm down!


(Dramatic pause [I mean paws, sorry] ...)


Izzy:  HEY GRAMEOW!  WHAT ARE YOU GETTING US FOR OUR BIRTHDAY?


Grameow:  Why do you need to know?  Don't you like surprises?


Izzy:  WELL YA, BUT MIKEY SAID HE'LL ONLY STOP ATTACKING ME IF HE HEARS WHAT WE'RE GETTING ON JULY 22ND, THAT SPESHUL DAY!!!


Grameow:  I don't think so.  You're going to have to have a talk with Meowma.


Izzy:  Come ON!  He'z not gonna stop attacking me unless I tell him!


Grameow:  No, you're going to have to talk with Meowma about that.


Mikey:  She's so lyin about what I said!  I did not ask for the gift name!  And besides, she's the one attacking me!


Grameow:  Settle down, you guys!


Mikey:  ...


Izzy: ...


Grameow: ...


Mikey and Izzy (at the same time) : Hmph.




See how simple or complicated the Human Cat-Talking sessions can be?

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